User blog:Dark Cyan/Cyan's Rap Battles of Literature 20: William Shakespeare vs Sophocles
Hello, everyone. And welcome back to Cyan's Rap Battles of Literature! Yes, I know. It's been a month since the last CRBoL. RIP the weekly Thursday schedule. And it's not coming back either. Expect the next CRBoL in about two weeks. This is kind of a Mother's Day special, featuring two playwrights, One who wrote Titus Andronicus, in which a guy eats his mom, and one who wrote Oedipus The King, in which a guy eats his...nevermind...This was a terrible idea. Incest jokes lol. This battle features the iconic English playwright William Shakespeare pit against the legendary Greek playwright Sophocles, to see who is truly the greatest Playwright in history. Enjoy! (Last CRBoL's Hints explained: Othello was literally Othello. The mom tatto was a reference to Oedipus lol.) Beat: Blackout 'The Battle' 'William Shakespeare' (starts at 0:10) Dost thou got beef with the Bard? The literature icon of history? T’is William Shakespeare! Making my peers Greene with envy! When crafting rhymes, I am divine! A far cry from UK Grime This doth be the big shot, one trick pony. Once again, thy shall be lost in time! I am a legend! Thine legacy literally lies in fragments! Compared to my Sonnets, your Tragic attempts at Comedy fall stagnant! Thy foul toad! That thine character arcs are praised doth not impress but perplex Compared to the household names I penned, Oedipus is not Complex 'Sophocles' (starts at 0:31) You think you’re the legend here? I’ll ruffle your ruff until it falls apart at the seams I’m the supreme Athenian dream from the Deme; A playwriting machine! I am the Scion of the Dionysia, with eighteen wins to my name I even unseated Aeschylus, and escalated myself to his level of fame Bring your King’s Men. I shall make asses of those clowns in their fool’s attire No Deus Ex Machina. You couldn’t even reach my heights with a pulley and wire! I wrote Rho and Kappa plays! (That’s 120, Pleb) Each one hotter than Greek Fire! You think your comedies are funny, but taking your verses seriously; that’s pure Satyr! 'William Shakespeare' (starts at 0:52) Thou art no king of subtle humor! Your comedy choruses are plain silly Run with with your little tail between thine legs in the face of big Willie! I changed Theatre around the Globe! I should close your miserable act Speaking of acting, how can performers emote wearing full face masks? I wrote a Tempest of classics. Thou art not even in my scene To think that we stand as equals world be a Midsummer Night’s Dream Only historians can name your works, so I humbly suggest thou must can it Before I commit gross violence upon thee greater than both Macbeth and Hamlet! 'Sophocles' (starts at 1:13) If you are the romantic heart of drama, then I gave the medium its lifeblood Still, you plays were better than the melodramatic drivel that was Shakespeare In Love My tales of heroes and adventure were truly Electra-fying! I wish I could wash clean with Ajax my mind after seeing your gore so horrifying! Cease playing Othello. You should Go and Reverse your verse, and fix your flow Because the Epic Homeric show’s too dope! I’ll leave this joke of a bloke broke! I’ve half a mind to pitch your notes from the window like your buckets of stool The Sphinx’s riddle should have been “Why the fuck is this taught in high school?” WHO WON? William Shakespeare Sophocles 'Hints For The Next CRBoL:' Hint 1: As I look out from my window, I see a Delhi aisle Hint 2: The Lady's got a lover, my boy's got a lover, women have lovers, everybody has lovers! Category:Blog posts